Stay
by Drea Jackman
Summary: Daniel doesn't remember much, but he knows enough to follow his instincts and when Jonas is forced to choose between returning to Kelowna or staying on Earth, everything in him tells him to act now, before it's too late and Jonas is gone forever.


**Title:** Stay  
**Written By: **Drea Jackman  
**Email:** DreaJackman@hotmail.com  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Summary:** Daniel doesn't remember much, but he knows enough to follow his instincts and when Jonas is forced to choose between returning to Kelowna or staying on Earth, everything in him tells him to act now, before it's too late and Jonas is gone forever.**  
Disclaimer:** Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. Any original characters, situations, and story are the property of Drea Jackman.  
**Archive:** The Abydos Cartouche & Jonas Fic. Others E-mail me to lemme know where first. Thanks!**  
Feedback: **Much appreciated and craved, hehe. Thanks!  
**Author's Note: **Really my first attempt at slash...or the first attempt that's ever made it onto the net anyway. Feedback's always appreciated but be warned, if you can't take the idea of Daniel and Jonas lookin' at each other _that_ way, then click your back button now.

**Stay  
by  
Drea Jackman**

Daniel was anxious. He paced the floor of his new quarters on base relentlessly, pausing only to mumble incoherently to himself. After a few seconds he'd shake his head and resume his pacing again, arms crossing over his chest as he covered the length of the room. They'd come back a few hours before; the debriefing had gone fine and they'd all gone to check up on Jonas in the Infirmary with Janet after that. 

With everyone settling down, Daniel had left Teal'c's quarters, where he had shared in the Jaffa's Kelnoreem practice, and found himself wondering what to do with to pass the time. It was while contemplating dropping by to visit Jonas again that he had seen them. A few of the representatives from the other continents of Jonas' home-world were being herded along the corridor passed him. He'd decided to come back later and turned the next corner, heading straight back to his room.

And that brought him to where he was now…pacing the floor with the mild feeling of discomfort growing low in his belly. Finally, he realised he'd been there far too long and just wanted to do something. Before he could stop himself, his feet had taken the lead and the door handle was already within his grasp.

* * *

The low knock on the door made Jonas jump. He quickly rose and went to open it, finding Daniel standing hunched in the doorway when he did. 

"Dr Jackson," Jonas greeted warmly, even if his first reaction was a slightly startled one. 

Gesturing with his good arm, he backed into the room and Daniel followed, hands shoved deeply into his pockets with broad shoulders somewhat slumped.

"You can call me Daniel y'know," he said pointedly as his eyes finally rose to meet Jonas'.

"Sorry," he replied and offered a half-smile to cover up the troubled expression he could feel tugging at his features.

"Something troubling you?" the archaeologist asked, not buying the smile for a second.

Jonas sighed and brought the hand of his good arm up to rub over the sling on his right. He turned away from Daniel to wander across the room, hand moving to run over the open journals and books lying scattered on his desktop. He wasn't trying to add drama or dig himself in deeper really. He just genuinely didn't know how to begin; after all, he was still making sense of it himself.

"I saw them, Jonas," the voice drifted across the room tainted with slightly more dread than the owner had intended be present. "What's going on?"

The Kelownan turned slowly to face the other man, features now filled with nothing but remorse. 

"They wanted me to go home," he said in a small voice, not truly believing it.

Daniel felt the sickening sensation begin to sweep up from the lowest depths of his gut, though he had no idea why he should be feeling such a thing. He stared at Jonas, incapable of forming the single question he had verbally. Instead, he managed something else entirely and the fact that he'd spoken was a surprise even to him.

"You're leaving, aren't you?"

The words came out more as a statement of fact than as the more appropriate question. He felt a deep ache as he watched the clear hurt in the other man's face. He clearly felt it too.

"They want to work to unite the continents."

"That's a good thing," Daniel said and took a few steps forward, still wary about keeping his distance. "Right?"

Jonas' eyes fell to the floor for a second before coming up to meet Daniel's again. "The other powers are only interested in pursuing peace if I go back as the Kelownan representative."

Immediately, all the wrong things sprang into Daniel's mind. The indignant retorts and selfish dismissals he managed to stem for the sake of his friend. Jonas was evidently having a hard time with the situation. Instead he closed the distance to go stand by him at the littered desk. When he spoke again, he let familiar soft tones take over.

"What do you want to do?"

"Honestly?" he sighed. "I have no idea."

Daniel offered him a slight smile that faded quickly as Jonas picked up his explanation.

"A year ago I'd have jumped at the chance to go home, but being branded a traitor kind of put paid to that. And I don't mean that as a reflection of living on Earth cause really, I can't imagine not having the year I've had here, but…"

"Things were different?"

"You could say that," he replied looking a little nostalgic. "It just took a while for me to … I dunno … fit in I guess."

"Jack never was quick to warm to new blood," Daniel joked lightly.

Jonas raised his eyebrows for a second, as if questioning the statement. 

"You too?" Jonas asked in disbelief. From the aftermath of Daniel's passing just over a year ago, he had thought that a friendship as deep as that of Jack and Daniel couldn't possibly have started out in a similar fashion to his.

Daniel wrinkled his nose slightly and nodded. "I'll give you details when most of the blanks get filled in."

Jonas smiled genuinely for the first time that night and cast his eyes downward.

"It's not fair," Daniel said suddenly.

His brutal honesty shocked Jonas a little and his eyes darted upward to look for more of a reaction in the other's reflection. He couldn't help but harbour slight hope somewhere deep down, but he had to question Daniel's meaning.

"Forcing you out of your home, expecting you to give up another when it serves them," he continued.

"This alliance could be the salvation of my planet," Jonas said in their immediate defence. "I've been hoping something would come along to be the instrument in their uniting for a long time now."

"Maybe," Daniel said thoughtfully. He cast his attention downward and caught sight of Jonas' hand nervously fidgeting with the edge of one of his open journals on the desk. "But do you want to leave Earth?"

"No," the reluctant answer came, but Jonas eyes were averted just as Daniel's were. His attention became lost on the sight of Daniel's hand resting close to his on the edge of the desk. He realised he could feel the heat radiating from the other man's skin, aware of how close he was standing now more than ever. Strangely, he took comfort in it. His hand continued to fiddle with the pages, albeit much slower in proximity to Dr Jackson's hand.

Daniel didn't know where the driving force in his actions really originated, but he found it pushing him forward anyway. While his mind was a muddle of half-remembered truths and empty voids of memory, this one thing seemed to make complete sense to him. He slid a hand underneath Jonas' fidgeting fingers slowly, offering an easy contact as he gradually drew the journal beneath off of the surface to hold it in his hand. 

Jonas' hand stilled its movement suddenly as he felt Daniel's flesh against his own. It felt like all the air had been pushed out of his lungs at once and he had forgotten to breath. All he could do was stare at the hand beneath his, fingers hovering in a light form of contact that was just strong enough to let him truly feel that Daniel was there after being gone for so long. 

Then all too soon it was over, the journal slipping out from under them as Daniel picked it up. His eyes slowly followed the path of Daniel's arm, flicking the book closed and setting it aside out of his reach. When his eyes made it all the way up to Daniel's, he found them a startlingly bright shade of blue. He felt them strike a cold rush deep down inside him as the certainty with which the archaeologist looked at him, held him there helplessly. 

"You want to stay here?" Daniel asked again, reforming his previous question as his forearm brushed alongside Jonas', arm coming to rest on the desk closest to he other man.

Jonas frowned. Hadn't he heard him the first time? Couldn't he see it written in his face…his stance…his eyes? He felt a sudden surge of apathy sweep through him as he realised he'd had no choice in the matter since Daniel's return. Fate was being cruel and once again Jonas Quinn was at its mercy. With a sorrow he'd never felt the likes of before welling up inside, he looked away, unable to meet the promise in the other man's eyes.

"This is my home now," he said, voice quieter than before if that was even possible. 

"Then stay…"

Daniel's breath danced across Jonas' jaw. He hadn't realised they were standing so close until he slowly began to turn back toward him, green eyes locking with blue as silent questions were asked and answered all at the same time. Neither was sure who moved first, but as they became lost in the new sensation of physical contact, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

Daniel felt the other man's presence grow closer until the warmth of his body made contact with his own. Jonas stood a clear inch shorter than him, making it easy for him to lay his forehead against Daniel's shoulder gently. Both men moved easily given the intimate nature of their new actions and the fact that they were both equally as terrified of being wrong. Neither had really conversed about their sexuality or how they felt about each other, but right at that moment, it wasn't necessary.

Jonas breathed a heavy sigh tainted with the illusion of relief. His stance failed to commit to the relaxation he should have felt in Daniel's presence. Despite his situation now, he still had a decision to make and it weighed heavily on his heart. Still, as his right arm came up to rest at Daniel's waist, he felt soothed as the archaeologist brought his arms up around his to hold him supportively. Every move was delicate and testing, neither wanting to push the other further than they were permitted to go.

"They need me," Jonas mumbled against Daniel's neck.

"We need you," Daniel replied just as quietly.

The second the words had left his mouth, he wished he hadn't let them. While he was sure they were true, he knew it was the wrong choice of subject at that particular moment in time. He should have said 'I', not 'we'. And he had wanted to, oh God how he'd wanted to. Jonas may have been brave enough to face Anubis, his torturous retrieval of information and greater still, his feelings, but even without the memory of old inhibitions, Daniel was sorry he couldn't say the same for himself.

"SG-1 were much better off when I first met them," Jonas continued as Daniel's hands came to a stop at his sides, left arm meeting the resistance of the sling around Jonas' right arm. He had only just taken a staff-blast for him, saving his life. How could he believe he had no place with them?

"You're wrong," Daniel said and leant back to give Jonas some more space.

"Am I?" 

Daniel flinched slightly at the defiance in the other man's tone. While Jonas hadn't meant to sound harsh, he couldn't help but feel fate was screwing him over again. The people of his own world had let him go, only too happy to brand him a traitor for standing up and doing the right thing. Would the people he'd come to call friends on Earth let him do the same? Just walk out of their lives like that? Then again, Jonas had never thought himself deserving in the first place so a part of him didn't expect anything less.

"Yes," he said, left hand rising up over the now covered wound Jonas had suffered in his stead. He hovered over it for a few seconds before letting his hand come up to rest gently over the sling holding the man's right arm in place as if trying to emphasise the gesture. His eyes lingered on it for a long moment before they finally met the green of Jonas' again. "Why don't you believe that?"

Jonas shrugged slightly and averted his eyes. He only brought his eyes back to meet Daniel's when he felt the soft squeeze on his upper arm nudging him to respond gently.

"Everything just went wrong," he began. "When I came through the Gate, you were supposed to get better … I mean … you were supposed to make it. Sam's dad made it in time, I was there. You weren't supposed to,"

"Jonas," Daniel said cutting him off. "I don't remember all of it, I'm sorry."

"I was the outsider, I didn't get to be there," he mumbled. He had never shared his feelings with anyone before. Never. It hurt to even think about his arrival on Earth let alone talk about it with another, but this other was Daniel and he'd find a way to get through it.

"Jonas," Daniel's voice tried to coax him to calm, failing.

"I didn't get to be there in the room, but I know what happened," he said taking a step back out of Daniel's reach. Suddenly he felt like recoiling into himself the way he had always done before. Being this open, trusting this much, he had never been used to it.

"Jonas…"

"You gave up."

Jonas' words were final and definite, a statement of fact and one he resented deeply. The hurt he'd carried for over a year had never manifested itself in full thought let alone verbally. Standing there, chest heaving as he stared back at Daniel Jackson, he was as surprised as the archaeologist to hear the words ringing in his ears.

Daniel frowned, plainly aware of the pain in Jonas' voice and the obvious hurt he'd caused him. Searching a bunch of half-remembered truths, he couldn't find the words to comfort him. He couldn't even remember the full details of what happened and he could hardly ask Jonas. The frustration he felt at that moment was incomparable to anything else he had felt so far.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said. His voice was tainted with a little more desperation thing he'd have liked. He took a step toward him, hoping to find some way of explaining how he felt…what he felt. "I didn't mean to … I didn't know…"

Jonas fought the instinct to bolt and instead watched Daniel approach warily. Strange, he found it, that only a few moments before he'd sought refuge in the other man's arms; finding the greatest comfort in his presence. Now he just felt angry for time lost. If Daniel hadn't given up and sought the path onto the higher plain, they would've had a year together. Now that Daniel was back, he had allowed himself to hope. A hope that was dashed the second his people had come to present him with their plea of help.

"You chose to leave," he continued despite Daniel's advance. "Now you come here like I have no right to do the same?"

"I don't…"

"You can walk away from me, but I can't walk away from you? That's what's not fair?!"

"I don't know!"

Jonas' fell silent as Daniel's frustrated cry echoed around the enclosed space of his quarters. He knew he'd gone to far, but at the same time he didn't care. Open and honest, wasn't that how it was supposed to be between friends? Was that all they were? Just friends?

"I don't know," Daniel repeated in a much quieter voice.

"Why did you come here?" Jonas asked flatly.

Daniel looked at him. His mouth dropped as if ready to answer and then closed abruptly when he realised he had none. He had to say something. More silence would only hurt Jonas further and that was the farthest thing from his mind right now.

"Jonas, I,"

"Don't know, right?" he finished.

"I wish I could tell you something different … tell you why I almost wore a hole in the floor of my quarters when I saw them here … why I'm here at all," Daniel tried to explain. "I don't remember."

"What am I supposed to do? They need me … I can't stay," Jonas sighed, defeated.

"What do you want?"

Daniel's voice was once again warm and caring. He didn't dare reach out for Jonas, afraid he'd push him away further if he pressed the issue. Instead he found Jonas left arm gently reaching out for his, fingertips glancing the green folds in the sleeve of his shirt as if again seeking confirmation that he was flesh and blood before him. 

"A reason," he breathed.

Daniel knew exactly what he needed right at that moment and was moved to offer the one word Jonas needed to hear.

"You're needed here … wanted."

"I'm needed there too," Jonas replied, fingers tracing the circle of the SG-1 patch on Daniel's right arm. He seemed distant, as if expecting a negative outcome.

"Stay," Daniel said, leaning closer, urging Jonas to meet his gaze with the strength of the word.

"Give me a reason…" 

Daniel leant closer still, hand skimming up Jonas' supported right arm to take him firmly by the chin. When Jonas finally did let his eyes meet Daniel's, he was stunned by the depth he could see reflected in azure. 

"Stay…"

And with that, Daniel's hands were either side of Jonas' head, gripping him gently as he claimed the stunned Kelownan's lips with his own. Jonas froze, body stunned into stillness as Daniel placed a soft, yet possessive kiss on his lips. His head swam, the need for air becoming apparent even after Daniel had released him to breathe himself.

Leaning back, Daniel released his hold on Jonas, hands falling to his shoulders. When their eyes met, both men knew the same thing at the same time. Shock and surprise were definitely at the top of their experience list, but it was masked clearly in the answers they'd sought from one another.

"Stay," Daniel whispered and leant forward to kiss Jonas again. His hands threaded the longer strands of hair at the nape of Jonas' neck and pulled him closer. His tongue grazed the other man's lower lip briefly and he felt him jump at the sudden contact. Breaking to draw in a ragged breath, he heard Jonas gasp.

"What about Kelowna?"

Daniel's lips found the Kelownan's neck.

"We'll figure something out," he mumbled against his skin.

Jonas retreated under the weight of the larger man, the back of a nearby chair catching back of his thighs as Daniel gently guided him. His eyes screwed shut tight, as if trying to block out all thoughts of his impending decision. His mind clung to every last sensation, fighting to hold himself in the moment, but it was no use. As good as that moment felt, he knew he'd been cursed since the day he'd met Daniel. After all, that single point in history, the kind that most only experience once in their lives, while so very poignant in his own life, had been the day that ended Daniel Jackson's. 

"I can't keep doing this," he groaned and attempted to push Daniel away with the one good arm he had, without any real effort.

"Doing what?"

Daniel's jaw grazed his lightly as his breath caressed the side of Jonas' neck. It was almost enough to draw Jonas back into that precious moment of peace he'd had only seconds before, but almost just wasn't enough to send his fears running for the dark shadows and recesses of his mind. This situation couldn't be made to vanish by the slightest of touches, no matter how much he wanted it to.

"Watching you leave … I couldn't do it again," Jonas said, bearing his soul a little more.

"What are you afraid of?" Daniel's voice asked; whisper-soft as his lips hovered a hair's breadth from his ear.

"Staying," he began, finally drawing back far enough from Daniel to really see him. "Being left behind."

And it was true, every last sentiment. Jonas had never felt the way he felt about Daniel before, and it went far beyond the fear of the past repeating itself. If he stayed behind on Earth, would he be forced to watch Daniel die a second time? Would he inevitably choose a path that meant leaving the alien behind again? As frightening as those prospects were, the immediate fear pressing him was the fact that everything – his feelings – they were all out in the open. Which was something in and of itself, but then Jonas could remember the events of the past year where Daniel could not. 

Was this all just some misguided mistake that Daniel would regret later upon remembering his love of another? Sam had told him about Sha're. How could the man before him, having once sought the Goa'uld to free his beloved wife from the parasite Amonet's clutches, possibly care for him in the same fashion? No, if giving in to Daniel's plea to stay now would mean being cast aside later, he'd rather have his heart broken swiftly than shattered slowly over time.

"Then come with us," Daniel urged, hands tightening around the other man's waist to emphasise his point. "Come with me."

Jonas couldn't answer right away. It hurt more than he could bear, to have two conflicting emotions waging war in both his mind and his heart. Looking into the deep sapphire of Daniel's eyes, he could see the truth reflected there. He believed everything he said to be true. At this, his heart dared to soar, weighed down only by the gnawing fear that Daniel may not remember enough to know he didn't truly feel that way about him.

"Why did you come here?" His voice sounded tired, he himself weary of the complications that Daniel's arrival had presented him with. It didn't matter how selfish that sounded to him anymore. Breaking away from the Tau-ri wasn't something he truly wanted to do, but Kelowna needed him and he knew the break would have been cleaner had the archaeologist simply not shown up at his door.

"Because I had to?" The words formed more of a question than a statement, and Daniel read the confusion in the eyes watching him. "I don't know what to tell you. This is all such a mess."

Jonas shifted uneasily in his arms, feeling like the end had come and the moment of realisation had struck. Daniel didn't want him at all. The voice in his head was beginning to get louder, pent up energy beginning to pool in every muscle of his body, his legs, all prepared for flight as it's mantra continued. 

'Run,' it ordered, demanding a response he couldn't bring himself to give as he hovered there in the limbo between fight and flight. 'Get out now! Run!'

"No," Daniel said quickly to recover, steadying Jonas apprehensive actions with another firm grip. "I don't mean it like that! I mean, I don't know why I came here, but I had to. I saw them here and I knew you'd go and I was pacing that … room like a caged animal…" He paused, realising he'd entered into a longer rant than he'd intended, looking back at Jonas with a mildly apologetic expression.

Jonas felt a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips despite himself. Apprehensions, fears and truths aside, he couldn't help but be touched by the much more characteristic outburst of passion he'd come to expect from Daniel shortly after meeting him.

"I had to," Daniel said simply, eyes fixing Jonas' with as much honesty as he possessed.

Silence loomed around them, forming an insulating blanket against the facility outside the room. They stared at each other, everything laid out on the line, until Jonas finally replied, voice now steady and confident.

"Ask me again," he said in a whisper.

Daniel's eyes sparkled in the dim light and his lips curled in a slight smile – the kind that he rarely allowed to cross his features. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle and content.

"Stay?"

Jonas didn't reply. He merely allowed the smile playing on his features to grow as he leaned closer. And for the first time that night, Jonas kissed Daniel. As his lips brushed Daniel's with renewed certainty, he felt the other man's arms come up around him, taking great care not to catch the wound he'd taken in sacrifice to protect him. It was something he'd do again in a second. His free hand slid beneath Daniel's, slinking around his waist to draw him closer still as they continued to explore the warm recesses of each other's mouths.

Daniel's mind whirled as Jonas kissed him, answering his question with a playfulness he found extremely alluring. He may not have known what drew him to Jonas that night, but from the bits and pieces that were beginning to come to the surface his memory, he understood it. Instinct didn't need rhyme nor reason to ask that its will be done. He must have trusted it once, because trusting it again came naturally. 

Smiling against Jonas' lips, Daniel accepted the Kelownan's promise to stay as he kissed him back, promising to never leave him behind again.

The End


End file.
